In the book Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he describes five ways to express and experience love called "love languages". These love languages are universal across cultures and time boundaries and are described as gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion) and physical touch (intimacy). What’s not mentioned in the book is that in tennis, love means nothing. Literally when someone has not scored, their score is "love". Love can be confusing, not just the word but all that it conjures in one's mind. Christians can seem bigoted against the LGBTQ community when it comes to love, however the message I'd like to share with you is love (and not the kind that means nothing).
What's the big deal about Love?
God is Love (1 John 4:16) - His very character is love. Some may think "what do you mean 'His' character..." Well the Bible clearly shows our God is masculine: Father, Son, Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19) and created mankind (Genesis 1:26), Genesis 2:7-8, shows us that the God who by the act of speaking made the heavens and earth did something that surprised the heck out of me when I read it. The Bible shows us that "Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground" and "Lord God planted a garden in Eden". Imagine the Creator God, getting down on the ground to form the man with his hands and planting a garden with his hands and then "there he put the man whom he had formed" (again with his hands). Friends this is a personal, caring deep love that we see God has for mankind since the very beginning.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” From the earth God created every living thing, yet God made woman from one of Adam's ribs - and Adam was ecstatic saying, “Finally! Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh! Name her Woman for she was made from Man.” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.
What's the big deal about sex outside of marriage?
To put it positively:
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance... When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." 1 Corinthians 13:4-13
These words from 1 Corinthians 13 are the most frequently quoted Bible verses at weddings, waiting till marriage to have sex is patient and kind to your spouse, who has agreed to married you. When we are young we don't see the wisdom in these words, we see things imperfectly and likewise we love people imperfectly. Think of anyone you love and remember how imperfectly you've shown your love for them. So my point is God is Love, we are lower than God and don't fully get it, but God knows me completely and will show me his way is right when I obey him.
Going against society in choosing to wait for marriage is possible, we a handsome rich young man was able to resist the hottest girl in town in Genesis 39:7-10. If you are struggling consider putting to memory and new life verse from one of these Bible Verses regarding temptation
We see things imperfectly because of sin, here's what the Bible teaches about sin
To put it negatively:
Hebrews 13:4; Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. When you have sex outside of marriage, you are defiling the future marriage of that person, even if you end of marrying that person. Sex outside of marriage is adultery and leads to self destruction (Matthew 5:28; Proverbs 6:32).
1 Corinthians 6:18; Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. What-ever you think about the Bible, this is totally true, just ask Google about venereal disease. 1 Corinthians 6:13 - The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
What's the big deal about marriage between a man and woman only?
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband (1 Corinthians 7:2).
Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. (Romans 13:13-14)
1 Timothy 1:10 puts sexually immoral those who practice homosexuality in the same category of enslavers, liars, perjurers and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine. In Conclusion: Christians believe in God the Creator of heaven, earth and everything in it. He's character is love, he created man, woman and marriage. We believe God is love and showed us his love by sending Jesus to the cross to die for our sins - paying the price for all the wrongs we have committed in our own bodies and against other people. He has completely paid the price for your sin and mine. Once we've received his grace, forgiveness and healing we know that we are God's children, born again and a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). He has set us on a new path - one that has intersected between you and me - to tell the whole world of his amazing grace and welcome you into his presents.
Jesus invites you to know him personally in John 14:6,7,12-14 "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. If you had really known me, you would know who my Father is. From now on, you do know him and have seen him!...I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!"
other links: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
http://www.openbible.info/topics/god_loves_everyone
http://www.openbible.info/topics/sex