How the Bible defines "Love your wife" (Col 3:19)

I'm enjoying Every Man a Warrior (EMAW) and our small group had some great insight into the scriptures. I've been fascinated by the wisdom in the Bible and how good it is at solving problems in the world. The classic example is "when is a thief no longer a thief?" The world says when they stop stealing but the Bible says,

"Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. Eph 4:28)"

The cure for thieves is to be hardworking and generous.

So when asking different people how to obey the command "Love your wife", you'd hear a variety of answers. Colossians 3:19 says,
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. NIV
 - How? Start with Jesus: Jesus teaches about Living Water at Festival of Tabernacles
Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. NASB
 - Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with ever form of malice (Eph 4:31)
A husband must love his wife and not abuse her. CEV
 - Be like Christ who gave Himself up for the her (Eph 5:25,  1 Peter 3:7)

Clearly roles matter, "Husbands" - "Love your wife" by not being harsh, embittered or abusive.

Or to be put positively Husbands love your wife by being gentle, encouragingly engaged, enduring to honor.
 - Think of wedding vows;
"I, Ben, take thee, Kim, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith."