12/5/21

Procrastination means delaying the act of taking decisions

Procrastination is putting off important tasks for later when you could do them at the moment. It is more or less postponing actions that are necessary and instead, doing things that are not so important. 

I've been talking with my brother about life necessities and purposes. Categorically relationships are our biggest necessity, with God, family, friends, and community - but how do we break it down into daily necessities. I think about prayer, exercise, acts of kindness, a posture of hospitality. But it's easy to get distracted and fall back into old habits of activity that take us away from our purposes. 

When I procrastinate, I replace what I am supposed to do with something irrelevant or less important. As a result, I fail to prioritize my goals and miss important deadlines and fail to reach targets. The problem is I'm not responding to my conscious when it nudges me and I've trained myself to be dull against its prompting. This all reminds me of a phrase by Daniel Henderson, "Don't just do something, pray." When I was younger I prayed often and simply, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." We need God to shepherd us into the relevant and important things in life. Serenity is the state of peace in His presence. 

I've signed up for https://virtuemap.com/ to help me get on track to complete my biggest goals. It's funny to me, I'm ambitious and say yes to everything - then I'm not able to see it through without running into procrastination and stress. I'm an Achiever (Enneagram type 3), I can get disconnected from my Essential Self with its core of real value (heart's desire). I'm ready to go from "average #5" towards "healthy." To get rid of phoniness and work towards investing in being the "best."

Most important tasks/goals I would like to work on:

1. Be the best me every day, fully loving the LORD my God with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind and loving my neighbor as myself (Luke 10:27).
2. Be the best husband, caring for my wife according to her needs
3. Be the best Online Trainer by bringing my group of leaders and their group members to the LORD every day in Prayer.
4. Be a productive team member, enhancing the work of others around me with personal contributions. 
5. Gain a new Cloud/Architecture Certification every quarter, demonstrating my professional ability. 

Getting to Healthy in phases:

  • Level 1 (At Their Best): Self-accepting, inner-directed, and authentic, everything they seem to be. Modest and charitable, self-deprecatory humor and a fullness of heart emerge. Gentle and benevolent.
  • Level 2: Self-assured, energetic, and competent with high self-esteem: they believe in themselves and their own value. Adaptable, desirable, charming, and gracious.
  • Level 3: Ambitious to improve themselves, to be "the best they can be"—often become outstanding, a human ideal, embodying widely admired cultural qualities. Highly effective: others are motivated to be like them in some positive way.

Average Levels

  • Level 4: Highly concerned with their performance, doing their job well, constantly driving self to achieve goals as if self-worth depends on it. Terrified of failure. Compare self with others in search for status and success. Become careerists, social climbers, invested in exclusivity and being the "best."

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